So…..how’s everyone doing in their office donut pool?

While my head says Boston Kreme will run the table, my heart wants Lemon to make a deep run out of the 5/12 pairing. The box is wide open this year, and even tournament newcomers Maple and Sour Cream have legitimate shots.

Ever since our son could walk, we’ve had a wide range of chalky goodness on the driveway. He loves the stuff. In fact, we all like adding to the weekly mural. These two characters appeared last week, and then with zen-like timing vanished under an evening rain.

Writing is hard. There are rules. There are exceptions to the rules. Sometimes the exception is the rule. Throw-in perspective, irregular verbs, punctuation, and style and you’ve created alphabet soup with a side of insanity.

I’ve been sifting through books on writing, and have finally found a useful one. Jan Venolia’s Write Right! is the first writing book I couldn’t put down, despite what would seem like the most boring content in the world to a fiction aficionado. It’s straight up talk about grammar, words, style, and punctuation – just the facts ma’am. I’ve learned a lot, and I plan to dedicate three or four posts to my key takeaways.

The first thing I would like to share with you will not be that helpful, other than shedding light on why English is such a frustrating language. Check out these three classifications of similar words…it’s amazing we ever learn to speak at all.

Homonyms – Words that are spelled and pronounced the same but have different definitions. Beet (noun) and beat (verb). Blue (adjective) and blew (verb). I bet this is a huge problem when people learn English as a second language. Check out Alan Cooper’s huge list of homonyms.

Homographs – Words that are spelled the same but have different definitions and sometimes pronunciations. Fair (noun) and fair (adjective). Wound (noun) and wound (verb). Subject (noun) and subject (verb). More information on homographs, and their conservative cousins heteronyms, can be found here.

Homophones – Words that are pronounced the same but have different spellings and definitions. Their (pronoun), there (adjective), and they’re (contraction). Pair (noun), pare (verb), and pear (noun). Write (verb) and right (adjective). You can check out this extensive list for more English homophones.

As I mentioned, I’m not sure how this information can help you in any way, other than arming you with the vocabulary to verbally thrash the English language. Enjoy!

Oh Donut Boy

Oh Donut boy, the sprinkles, the sprinkles are calling
From box to box, and down to the drive thru
The morning’s gone, and all the bear claws are missing
‘Tis you, ’tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when donut’s in the break room
Or when the fried dough’s heavy and white with frosting
‘Tis I’ll be here in morning or in evening
Oh Donut boy, oh Donut boy, I love you so.

And if you come, when all the donuts are frying
And I am hungry, as hungry I well may be
You’ll come and find the box which I am hiding
And kneel and say a “Glaze” there for me.

And I shall hear, tho’ soft you tread above me
And all my donuts will warm and sweeter be
If you’ll not fail to take me to the Dunkin’ Donuts
I’ll simply starve in peace until you come to me.

Oh Donut boy

Happy Saint Patty’s Day!

Round 3 of Flashkit.com’s March Madness Tournament kicked off with some brilliant stock, clearly reflected in the work that followed. My battle with Hybrid Inc. was hard fought, and the closest of all eight pairings. In the end, his piece pulled ahead and rightfully won the round.

My image is posted below, but you should really check out the amazing work in some of the other pairings.

The annual March Madness Tournament is in full swing over at Flashkit.com, and I barely squeaked into the round of sixteen with this entry. In a rematch with NJP3, the voting was neck and neck for 2 days - he certainly brought some skills. I was lucky to escape to round 3, where I’m up against yet another mighty foe. No time to rest!

I know how much you love March Madness. All the picks, the distractions, watching four games at once, the chance of winning big…it’s got it all. That’s why you owe it to yourself, and your office crew, to get the party started a week early with the Championship Week Challenge.

Fill out brackets for the Big Ten, Big East, ACC, and SEC conference tournaments, and give yourself a reason to catch the games this week. Not only is this a great opportunity to scout teams for next week’s office pool, you just might win your entry fee.

47 teams, 43 games, 5 days, 4 conference champions, 1 winner < -- you?

Download this Excel Spreadsheet, and start your pool today.
Games start on the 8th, so get your hustle-on!

Dunkin’ian Rhapsody

Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a donut
No escape from reality
Open your mouth
Bite down through the glaze and see
I’m just a hungry boy, I need no bran muffins
Because I’m easy fried, easy bake
A little yeast, little cake
Any way the cake crumbs
Donuts really matter to me, to me

Mama, I just bought a bunch
Put my money in his hand
Grabbed the boxes, then I jammed
Mama, work had just begun
But now I’ve gone and ate a third eclair
Mama ooo, ooo, ooo, gulp!
Didn’t mean to eat them all
I’ll bring back a box again this time tomorrow
Eat them all, eat them all
As if donuts really matter

Too late, my time has come
Send crullers down my throat
Stomach’s growling all the time
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to eat
Gotta leave you all behind and fry some dough
Mama ooo, ooo, ooo, gulp!
I don’t want to starve
I sometimes wish I’d never ate one at all

I see a little tiny sprinkle of a man,
Boston Kreme, Boston Kreme will you do the strawberry
Jelly-filled and lemon
Very very filling to me
Double Chocolate, Double Chocolate
Double Chocolate Double Chocolate
Double Chocolate figaro Magnifico
I’m just a Krispy Kreme and nobody loves me
He’s just a Krispy Kreme from a poor donut shop
Spare him his life from this over-sugared blob
Easy come easy go, will you let me eat
Cinnamon! No - we will not let you eat
Let him eat
Cinnamon! We will not let you eat
Let him eat
Cinnamon! We will not let you eat
Let me eat
Will not let you eat
Let me eat
Will not let you eat
Let me eat
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Mama mia, mama mia
Mama mia let me eat
Dunkin Donuts has a donut put aside for me, for me, for me

So you think you can mug me and take my donuts
So you think you can find me and eat my bear claws
Oh baby, Can’t do this to me baby
Just gotta get out
just gotta get right outta here

Donuts really matter
Anyone can see,
Donuts really matter
Donuts really matter, to me

Any way the cake crumbs…